I'm teaching my kids not to say naughty words.  In an effort to further this, I have even replaced my own vocabulary.  Fuckface turns into "poopyface".  Shit-stain turns into "poopoo stain", so on and so forth.  But eventually, like when things don't go my way, all hell breaks loose.  But you can't expect someone as beautiful as me to be perfect all the time.  *scratch pick*  Besides, if I used silly language like that all the time, people wouldn't take me fucking seriously, right?

Rande thinks all this is rubbish [or bullshit, as he would say].  But he's never around anyways, so it doesn't really matter.  As long as I get pounded like a mallet at night, I have no complaints.

Sorry for the no update!!

The stupid Gerber people are so, like, stupid!!  After filming that commercial, they didn't have enough shots to 'piece it together' because of Presley and him grabbing my mole.  *sigh*  They still gave me about 3/4 of the money promised anyways though.

Kaia, my daughter, is being so snotty lately!!  You know how that is, being 3.  What a spoiled brat.  I already bought her 3 Barbie vans, a cruise boat, 4 cars, and numerous things!  *pick pick*  What more does she want?!

Pick up my new fragrance and make me LOTS of money!!  I didn't mean that, I meant make me very rich and even more famous.  Oh dear.  You know what I mean.  It's called Cindy Crawford.  I'm so original!  *pick pick*

Agh!  I'm gushing blood.  I've been trying to pick off my mole recently, because of what people say.  I really have no brain and can't think for myself; the tabloids run my life.  Unfortunately, this darn thing just scabs over and grows back. 

I have to go!  Presley's being a naughty little wanker!  Check out my new fragrance here: http://www.cindy-fragrances.com/.

I started filming a new Gerber commercial today with my little darling, Presley.  I really want another child.. how I love them so.  If I have another son, I'd name him Chadwick.  If I had another daughter, I'd name her Eugenia.

Presley wouldn't stop grabbing my mole during the shoot though.. it was starting to annoy me.  The director kept yelling 'Cut!  Now, from the top!' and he'd keep doing it.  I finally hit him lightly and he stopped for a while; then he kept yanking it.  I finally smacked him in the head and he started bawling all over my Armani pant suit.  That really set me off.  I left the studio with him there crying.  I picked him up a few hours later after I went on a $9,888.34 shopping spree.  I really needed to clear my head.